Got this in the email today:

A young man wants to get his beautiful blonde wife something nice for their first wedding anniversary, so he decides to buy her a cell phone. She is all excited--she loves her phone. He shows it to her and explains all the features on the phone.

The next day the blonde goes shopping. Her phone rings and it's her husband.
"Hi hun," he says. "How do you like your new phone?"

She replies, "I just love it; it's so small and your voice is clear as a bell. But there's one thing I don't understand though."

"What's that, baby?" asks the husband.

"How did you know I was at Walmart?"

I had this emailed to me ages ago and it seems to be all over the net in some form, so I have added it here just in the rare event you never managed to see it anywhere else.  Seems to fit cats and dogs to me

Excerpts from a Dog's Daily Diary:

  8:00 am Dog food! My favorite thing!
  9:30 am A car ride! My favorite thing!
  9:40 am A walk in the park! My favorite thing!
10:30 am Got rubbed and petted! My favorite thing!
12:00 pm Lunch! My favorite thing!
  1:00 pm Played in the yard! My favorite thing!
  3:00 pm Wagged my tail! My favorite thing!
  5:00 pm Milk bones! My favorite thing!
  7:00 pm Got to play ball! My favorite thing!
  8:00 pm Wow! Watched TV with my master! Heavenly!
11:00 pm Sleeping on the bed! My favorite thing!

Excerpts from a Cat's Daily Diary:

Day 589 of my captivity:

My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.

They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.

Day 588 of my captivity:

In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomited on the floor. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. The audacity!

Day 587 of my captivity:

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food.

I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage.

Day 586 of my captivity:

Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

Day 585 of my captivity:

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released --and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously obtuse!

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. The captives have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe.......

for now..........