I got this one from a post in CodeProject lounge forums today and thought there were cute:

• Everyone has a photographic memory. Some don't have film.
• He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
• A day without sunshine is like, well, night.
• On the other hand, you have different fingers.
• Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.
• Back up my hard drive? How do I put it in reverse?
• I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory.
• When the chips are down, the buffalo is empty.
• Seen it all, done it all, can't remember most of it.
• Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
• I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
• He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
• She's always late. Her ancestors arrived on the Juneflower.
• You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
• I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
• Honk if you love peace and quiet.
• Pardon my driving, I am reloading.
• Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
• Nothing is foolproof to a sufficiently talented fool.
• It is hard to understand how a cemetery raised its burial costs and blamed it on the high cost of living.
• Just remember ... if the world didn't suck, we'd all fall off.
• The 50-50-90 rule: Anytime you have a 50-50 chance of getting something right, there's a 90% probability you'll get it wrong.
• It is said that if you line up all the cars in the world end to end, someone would be stupid enough to try and pass them.
• You can't have everything, where would you put it?
• Latest survey shows that 3 out of 4 people make up 75% of the world's population.
• If the shoe fits, get another one just like it.
• The things that come to those that wait may be the things left by those who got there first.
• Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach a man to fish and he will sit in a boat all day drinking beer.
• Flashlight: A case for holding dead batteries.
• Shin: A device for finding furniture.
• As long as there are tests, there will be prayer in public schools.
• A fine is a tax for doing wrong. A tax is a fine for doing well.
• It was recently discovered that research causes cancer in rats.
• Everybody lies, but it doesn't matter since nobody listens.
• I wished the buck stopped here, because I could sure use a few.
• I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.